Shame. Difference. Tragedies. That's perhaps what we read most in newspapers.

You can't really blame people for hiding at home or feeling that they are useless after losing a limb in Singapore. This is why we have to try so hard to let people understand that no, disability does not mean that you are someone of lower worth. It just means that you do the same thing in a different way. And in fact, you may do it even better.

We have to get more Singaporeans to learn that disability is nothing to be shameful about. Otherwise, what if one day, it happens to you? Do you plan to crumble and give up on life?

To disabled athletes in Singapore, no, sports do not make them richer. Nor do they get famous out of it. Yet, they still put in hours, day, weeks and years of sweat (if they can) into it.

Because in sports, when they are out there feeling the wind as they race on the track, when they are fighting against the wind as they maneover the sail, when they meet people who do not talk about how sad they are, but discuss with them about techniques and speed, they feel so much better about themselves.

And through sports, they come into contact with so many different things they would otherwise never learn of. They learn things about themselves which they never thought possible. They learn that being alive doesn't only mean that you can afford

Labels: disability, disabled, singapore, sports

Am I a person who gives up easily?

Hmm, I keep wondering about myself lately. Haven been feeling stable and I am totally clueless why.

Again, I'm not exactly sure whether I'm leading my life appropriately. I'm starting to feel that this happens to everyone during their first three months on a new job. You just try your best to keep up with everything, and suddenly, you lose track of things and you start to wonder, whether that is what your life is about.

I dislike that fact that I'm suffering from the syndrome of 'the other side of the pasture is greener'. I can cry all I want during my stay at a company, but after leaving it, and changing an environment for a couple of months, I start itching and wondering if I made the right move.

While I'm always in my blues wondering whether the current move is the correct one, my other half has been feeling that his previous moves were wrong. (a song comes to mind now... Only fools rush in...)

Everyday, I'm convincing myself that what I'm doing is worthwhile.

The long hours and boring work have been taking a toil on us. We are back to meeting every weekend. By then, I already feel so burnt and neglected that I distance myself everytime. Then we have to spend the bulk of the time trying to get me familiarized and warmed up again. Boy, I guess I can never withstand a long-distance.

But he finally spent some time to just talk with me over the weekend. I'm glad. It's been a long time since I felt close again.

Am I an attention-seeker....

Veto JCs

I just had a conversation with my bf and was ranting about how useless JCs are. Present thinking is, I'm not going to let my child enter JC. At least, I'll be throwing him or her a lot of alternative choices, but if he or she still chooses JC in the end, then I'll surrender.

(I hope I earn a lot of money in the future...)

Anyway, all this came about because of my recent experiences with schools. I had teachers and students contacting me for lots of things. They are all with good intentions, but boy, it seems that they have a serious lack of plans for most stuff. And you won't believe the way some of them tries to mumble their way through. And most of my bad experiences come from JCs. Where have all the good teachers gone?!

I mean, if you've gotten to the JC level, I would at least have expencted some kind of standard in the way you talk, think and even carry out your work. But these guys (including the teachers) dunno half of what they are thinking about and just come to you saying they want to help, it's for their school project. Seriously, I'm glad you want to help, but I've got a mountain of duties before I start helping you think what the heck you can do to help. Aren't YOU supposed to be the one earning points for your project and for creative thinking / work? Why is that being thrown to me in the end?! I seriously think there's something wrong with the education system.

Then, I actively interacted with a couple of JCs and god forbid, the staff are THAT level of standard, so I can totally understand how come the students are not developing well nowadays. I called this JC's main line and it says to press a nunber to speak to someone for more information. I was asking and asking, but she made me doubt if she was actually a qualified staff in the school in the end. She knew nothing about what's going on the school, who's in charge of what, who I can speak to etc. Why the hell did they put her on the info line then?!

Anyway, after this whole parade, I totally lost confidence in JCs. (Plus another few more incidents I had with JC students... god, a JC student's proposal looking like a kid's work next to a secondary school student's, can you imagine?) So my bf was saying, maybe I can put my kid in United World College.

Not a bad idea. I just wish my child would be someone creative, and not be tied down by all the results and everything. I wish that she or he will become a person respected because of personality and mature thinking, not papers. I wish he or she will not be 'dumbified' by lousy teachers and staff who accidentally infiltrated into the education system.

(Yes, I better earn more money...)

Wedding bells are not ringin'

Is there a reason why EVERYONE i've met recently asks me when I'm getting married? I know, it must be my own fault, because I kept saying I wanted to, a while back. But guys, it's not happening any time soon, so stop reminding me. hahah

Well, it is a tough period for me and my boyfriend, I suppose. Both have just started work, and are not exactly earning much (ok, we aren't thrifty either). :( well, anyway, I think he's not in a hurry too, with careers unsettled and everything. So, yes, guys, we are not getting married anytime soon.

But it did feel surreal when I finally our first joint card. We signed up for this holiday membership when we were at Bintan previously and now we have joint cards with our photo on it. It's a pretty nice feeling.

Oh, my left leg and right arm are hurting like mad. Cringing everytime I walk now. All because my company went to play bowling on Friday for our Sporting Friday. (We are starting this to become a regular activity on the last Friday of every month) And I've never bowled for four games before. Totally regretting it now. *ache*

Work is still horrendous. And i fear it's going to be worse. I'm kinda doing this promo campaign now and it's like, no one is sponsoring us! Feeling beads of sweat already. I need money! Guys, you better buy some of the charity tickets I'm selling later. Or I'll scream.

That's it now. Stamina is not that good nowadays. It's a wonder I have not plonked down while I'm writing this. Goodnight!

Life after death

Harlow boys an girls, yes, finally a blog up after what, one year plus? oh dear, i wonder if any of my frens will actually see this blog. haha, i'm sure the bulk of them, if not all, have given up on me.

well, strange to say, i'm blogging during one of the busiest periods of my life. (well, dun argue with me, rem i said before, it's easier to make a phone call than to write and wait for people to chance upon your blog?)

Anyway, let's have a tiny update on what's been going round during this year.

I've just recently been back from a Bintan trip (yes, even though i'm whining about being busy in just a bit). Boy, and I thot Singapore was hot! Bintan was like...sizzling. Never been there before then. It's not a bad place to visit after all. We went snorkelling (I had this fluke of me initially swimming mistakenly towards shore, instead of out to sea), saw some fishes, shopping at a tiny shopping town/village called Pasar Oleh Oleh, and had massages. (I didn't feel particularly refreshed after the massages though, strange to say)

But overall, I think it's quite nice to just drift out of Singapore for a little time-out every now and then. Looking forward to my next weekend getaway. God knows when.

I just had my first vote yesterday! Though it probably wasn't made with the wisest mind (I didn't bother keeping up with everything the candidates said). It'll be better next time!

I changed work again, if you guys haven already known. No long working behind the cams, but begging people to come with their cams. Haha... well, not sure whether that sounds like the right move. The work is horrendous. But like I said to my bf, i sure am tempted to go back to a comfy life, but I just had to give myself a year or two to see what I can do with my so-called life. See how far and how much I can achieve. If you never try, you will never know. I always rationalise, did I study that hard to be, like my bf said, just a statistic when I grow up? I remember the times when I used to be comfortably just doing routine drills everyday, and shopping without a care in the world. But I was always wondering everyday then, what is the significance of my life. I had self-proclaimed my brain to be dead too. so even though it's not that great to be worrying about work every day now, at least I know I'm doing something and thinking hard every day.

I hope that those of you who happens upon this are also living out your lives fulfillingly. The going's tough, but it's worth it, as long as you know when to start and stop.

Why does everyone think Paris is a city of romance? I think it's a lie which has gone on for too long.

Anyway, just went surfing about places which I will be going in two weeks. (Yes! I'm finally leaving my work behind and gg for a holiday. :)) I'll be gg Japan for a short trip with my parents and my boyfriend, by the way. I've not even set foot in the airport and already I'm thinking of saving money to go back. Because this time round, we'll be following a tour around. But next time, hopefully, we can go backpacking.

I've found so many places to visit I don't even know where to start. Not that I'm gonna bring back suitcases of stuff, but I wanna go to a bath (Oedo Onsen Monogatari, which is this wonderful bath modelled after the Edo period), Fuji TV station (with this cute ticket booth outside of it), the Sumida river cruise (which is supposedly super beautiful), the love hotels (their themes are just eye-openers), and this place which has three theme places insde (one gyoza theme, one chou bun theme, one ice cream theme)... and so many more. I've not even started on places outside Tokyo. Haha

Look at the pictures of the food they served during valentines. I mean, if we had restaurants like that, I think the govt can kick their worries of us not getting married or not having babies away. Seriously, how romantic can you get at Crystal Jade ('siu yok fan, pls') or when you are waiting 1 hr for the V-day special to be served (and it turns out to be just a exhorbitantly-priced steak rushed out by the chef)?

courtesy of venus fort website

courtesy of venus fort website

What's wrong with MTV?

Or perhaps what's wrong with SG's aesthetic sense? I mean, here we have hundreds of youths grunting about how oppressing Singapore's education system is, and taunting that their vagrant artistic ways of life are the true form. Then for the sake of it, show us what's really great about your art!

Just watched a tiny segment of Disney's program and was disgusted at how the cameraman tried to create a LIVELY presentation of the show by using the handheld camera. You know, there are things which are called techniques. Just because you have the strength to fool around with the camera doesn't mean that swaying the camera around while shifting your feet makes the angles or presentation any much better than a still one. I would even much prefer still cam cuts than swaying cameras with nothing better to offer than to make one dizzy. (And shame that MTV uses such style too... the same company previously)

When will they wake up their idea?

Just watched Jamie Oliver's cook show recently and god, please, take some hints. Even a cook show can be so much better. Much less to say, you have subjects full of life to offer.