Monday, June 12, 2006
Am I a person who gives up easily?
Hmm, I keep wondering about myself lately. Haven been feeling stable and I am totally clueless why.
Again, I'm not exactly sure whether I'm leading my life appropriately. I'm starting to feel that this happens to everyone during their first three months on a new job. You just try your best to keep up with everything, and suddenly, you lose track of things and you start to wonder, whether that is what your life is about.
I dislike that fact that I'm suffering from the syndrome of 'the other side of the pasture is greener'. I can cry all I want during my stay at a company, but after leaving it, and changing an environment for a couple of months, I start itching and wondering if I made the right move.
While I'm always in my blues wondering whether the current move is the correct one, my other half has been feeling that his previous moves were wrong. (a song comes to mind now... Only fools rush in...)
Everyday, I'm convincing myself that what I'm doing is worthwhile.
The long hours and boring work have been taking a toil on us. We are back to meeting every weekend. By then, I already feel so burnt and neglected that I distance myself everytime. Then we have to spend the bulk of the time trying to get me familiarized and warmed up again. Boy, I guess I can never withstand a long-distance.
But he finally spent some time to just talk with me over the weekend. I'm glad. It's been a long time since I felt close again.
Am I an attention-seeker....
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