My so-called life

Ok, guys, dunno when you will read this, but yes, this is my blog after almost two months. haha well, as i've always said, you could call me if you missed me.

Anyway, not that I finally feel the urge to update about anything. Basically, nothing much as been happening these two months, save for doing my FYP, which I have finally (YES!) submitted last week. Strangely enough, I had been feeling insecure about my fyp all along. But last week, just when I was dumping out my final copies for submission, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride for what I had done for the past year. (ok, so I didn't work that hard on it for the whole year) but still, it was my baby. And it was something I know I would never be able to do it again, when I'm out in the corporate world. Something I feel that should be the case for all FYPs. It's a time when you really do something you wan to do, with all the skills you've learnt for the past three years. Doing something which you feel frustrated with, but wan to give hell of a try no matter what. At the end of it all, just keep as memory for the rest of the twenty years ahead.

I was thinking of quotes for my fyp's press release the other day. (cos it's a video, and somehow, the teachers think that this year we have the time to do an additional press kit. I wonder how they got the tiniest bit of that idea into their heads anyway) And came up with this one:

"I don?t know what I want to do with it?Perhaps show it to my children in fifteen years? time and tell them: see, Mummy?s not conservative. Now, how about we trade with that video you are hiding under the mattress!"

(anyway, for a brief, my fyp's a video on a sex product, thus...)

It really is something I would wan to show my children in 15 years time. And I'm glad i can say that confidently. It means that all the lousy times I had in the past year due to this twenty min little video had not been in vain, because i want it to be part of my memory forever. (unlike some parts of my life which I totally wish i could wipe it off my slate) I hope one day, my children will be showing me their work too, and we can have fun watching all the stuff we've done in our youths. (am i thinking like an old foggie already....)

Anyway, life's been pretty blessed, i guess. I had my really lows these two months due to (again!) FYP and yet, I have somethings I feel, will be another unforgettable part of my life which I wan to share. that's why I'm up here.

First, before I go into another round of boasting of my blessings, I must confess that I really hadn't been a good daughter these days. I haven been at home much because of all the editing of fyp and schoolwork. I know my mum missed me, especially these times. She had a leg problem a while ago and I wasn't there to help her much with it. And in ard two weeks time, she'll be having an operation while I have my exams. I wonder if i'm turning into one ungrateful kid sometimes. I dun seem to be able to bring myself to show much concern. it somehow seems awkward to do so, even tho i know she'll really appreciate it. I guess i'll try to make up for it when i move back home after all the school stuff. (but still, all you guys who dare to show your emotions, do it! you never know how long you can show that anymore and dun ever regret what you could have done yet never did)

Now, after the confession. Hmm, it seems my friend had been incredulous ever since i phoned him one day to tell him how blessed I felt I was. he'll never let me forget it now. Though i wouldnt want to forget it either. So, for the blur friends I have out there reading this and who have been ever so confused about what i am writing in my blog, here's the elaboration. Well, i guess those close to me will know. I've been with this fantastic guy for like, five months plus. and up till now, I still think he's perfect. haha it really is cringing. It's like, I'll never forget how I pulled through three years with a guy I din really like and still went thorugh three years because I could never bring myself to brace the breakup. And because of that relationship, I learnt alot on how to be a better person in relationships and how to choose a better guy who deserve me better and also, vice versa.

And so, just a few weeks ago, i called my fren to tell him how happy I was, in my relationship and he was totally blown over. haha

i tink it's really a very good feeling, when you find someone whom you think is perfect (at least right now) for you. I know i don't look exactly radiant like a person in love (haha, does that matter) but I thank every day he's with me. I learnt from the past that it's useless to think about the future because so many things are going to change (like we're gg to graduate, have to find jobs etc). Not that i dun think sometimes, but it's really important that you like every single day now. I never forced myself to think whether he'll be the one who i will be with eventually. It's something my friend keeps questioning me though (as a joke as a joke!). As of now, i'll be glad to say that he's someone i wanna be with in future. it may not come true for all i know. but just be glad that at this moment of my life, i feel this way.

He may not be a fantastic guy to everyone, but he is so, to me. that's why everyone has a special someone for them, isn't it?

Like my fyp, i wan to look back someday on this blog and remember that there was this person i felt so blessed with. (maybe we will still be together then. maybe. maybe :) ) i guess that's why i treasure every account now.

*back to my so-called life*