how does my reflection show who i am inside

just remembered a song from the movie, Mulan. Well, have been trying to find out info just now regarding what kinda interim report or whatever messy stuff we need to clear before PI ends. To think, almost six months just flew by and I'm still at a lost for my fyp. curse the lords (not gods, oh no way) found no relevant or helpful information whatsoever though, on the oh-so-user-friendly school website. they really should try to make it more brainy you know, instead of offering some dumb blonde advice. Who do they think their audience are...

Anyway, curious at what the younger ones have been applying for for their attachments so went in for a look. Gosh, the organisations are wonderful. And so reminiscent of the choices i did have but din pick up. they are so right in saying that you should always appoly for an organisation which you plan to pick up skills or work there in future. after all, contacts are there to be made and you dun wanna spend six months passing by just...barely doing anything rather than being a machine. But hell, i obviously din realise that until attachment is almost half over. I guess that's not very useful of the singaporean education system, in a sense. by the time you realise something and try to rectify, it's too late. sorry, but your chance is over, now move on and join the unemployed ranks.

Whereas, in foreign universities, they get a chance to be attached whenever they like it. or just take a year off to experience the world outside. i mean, if given a chance, i know i'll be darn if i choose this company again. But well, that's it. finis. kaput. no wonder so many grads cant find jobs. we barely learnt anything.

perhaps if i really wanna learn some skills relevant to what i'm studying, i'll have to start as an intern all over again at some other company. woohoo~ perhaps i'll get to do that when i grad and cant find a job. hmm....

Working is ok, dun get me wrong. Days just fly back without you knowing it. 9 to 6 9 to 6 9 to 6... your life then begins from 6 to about 11 pm, then you get stoned (not in the drugged sense of stoned, but you know, your expression is no different from that of a stone), and cant wait to hit the pillows so that you can wake up in time for the 9 o'clock duty the next day. Then, brains switch off from 9 to 6 again as you perform tasks which becomes such a routine the millions of brain cells just cant find enough work to spread around and takes a break elsewhere or even worse, die due to the lack of exercise.

A fren just said recently that MTV is an evil organisation. I cant agree to his explanation as to why that is, due to my lack of knowledge on it, but well, it sure is an evil org for trying to destroy all traces of your brains. reminds me of the machines trying to destroy Zion in Matrix. But i guess it happens in every big organisation. Because they are so big, work becomes very concentrated and specialised. What you do is a lot but very confined to a small area of the whole picture. It's like, you just become this miniscule mechanism in this operating system. For MTV, like, even if you do production work, what you do is very little. Perhaps script research, then you search for the shots you want. Get the editor to edit it. All you have to do is, write the script, then get the time codes. It gets darn funny when they say this is what happens in the real world. No, dear, this is what happens in BIG orgs. in small orgs, you think of the script, you produce and you are basically the cam person if you just need a PD 150. Then, you just edit it on an extremely friendly final cut pro. That, is what i call production. of course, if you are doing purely sound design and so on in film or whatever, then it's also production but not what you do in MTV! What can i say. it's EVIL.

To review what i have learnt till now is a joke. Even more humorous when even the person who has been tackling what i am doing now for seven years says that the job needs no brains. What else am i supposed to say when a veteran already put it that way. Time to wake your brains before you spend another seven years on it.

Ok, give it some credit. I did learn about programming. I got to know some pretty nice people. That's it.

Phew~ cant think of anything else right now. better start working on my stupid script. haha (call it stupid, but it's my heart and soul. )